"...after that point you could say I "woke up" to race."

Through the eyes of: Stanley
(Written by Stanley)

I don't think anyone can really trace when they were truly aware of race and his/her own race. As far as I am concerned, I knew I was black since I understood that I existed. But obviously, there comes a time in a child's life when they become aware of race, especially those around you that differ from your own. For me, I think this was when I was in the first grade. The school that I went to was pretty diverse, and up to that point most of my interactions with other kids were of my own race. It wasn't until 1st grade that I truly had white, asian, latin, etc. friends.

I will never forget the time when I realized that the culture I was used to was different from the culture that some of my white friends were accustomed too. Me, a white friend (can't remember his name), and mixed friend (I didn't realized he was mixed at the time but looking back now I know he was half white/half asian) were talking about football. I was telling my white friend how bad Emmit Smith was, but I was using the term word "bad" in the sense that he was awesome and unstoppable. My white friend didn't understand this and we argued because we didn't realize that we were confusing the use of the word. He thought that I was saying Smith was bad, as in not good. My mixed friend understood both sides and he explained what I was trying to say to my white friend. That confusion and then clear up opened my eyes to cultural differences. Now how someone speaks is not necessarily a race thing, but something about that moment made me aware of myself and the race. I don't even think I had grasped the idea yet, that two of my friends were of a different race than my own, so after that point you could say I "woke up" to race. I don't understand why or how, but after that moment I started actually paying attention to the differences in race around me.

So I can't say when I first realized I was black, but I believe it was in the first grade that I realized not everyone was black and that there was a diverse world around me everyday.